


What I Am

by tiprine



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Introspection, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 11:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiprine/pseuds/tiprine
Summary: Everyone always focuses far too much on the death and destruction aspect of my abilities, yet few ever understand that those are the necessary precursors for rebirth and creation.





	What I Am

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short introspective, one of the few ideas out of many that finally worked its way out.

The passage of time does not change what I am.  Circumstances will not ever alter the duty given to me at the time of my inception.  Even this human life, as much as I have grown fond of it, will not allow me to forget where my path will inevitably end.

I am a soldier of many names, many titles—all filled with the promise of ominous doom that brings the end, offering but a tiny silver lining that a new beginning will rise from the ashes.  Everyone always focuses far too much on the _death and destruction_ aspect of my abilities, yet few ever understand that those are the necessary precursors for rebirth and creation.  Sometimes, the slate must be wiped clean to bring the order that had been lost; that is my purpose, my calling, my reason for being.

For now, the world is peaceful.  The darkness which stirred countless battles and deadly wars had finally recoiled, slinking back into some unseen depths as it waited for its next opportunity to strike.  A sense of foreboding coursed through me, warning me that the next time evil roused to push back against all that was light and good, my services as the Sacrificing Soldier would be called upon.  My terrifying power would bring an end to this age, laying the foundations for the next to come.

And, would I cease to exist when that time came?  Would I be thrust back into the seal that I had been called from over a thousand years ago, inevitably bringing me into a cycle of rebirth that had never been intended for me?  Perhaps, I would be allowed to be reborn again as a human of the new age, walking side by side with those that I had come to identify as my friends—my _family_ —my allies.  Maybe it was too much to hope for, yet I hoped for it.  I shouldn’t, I know, but I do.

The struggle to live was a new experience for me, and I was now able to comprehend the mortality that I faced when I brought down my Glaive, understanding the fundamental refusal in accepting one’s fate as I brought it.  How many times had I seen those about to die fall to their knees, begging me for reconsideration for what I was about to do?  How many tears did I see fall, once those before me understood that the end was upon them and I was the one to send them to their maker?  In an instant I would see all the stages of grief, and I usually felt nothing.

Could I go back to that now, after this life?  Maybe.  It might be like falling back into comfortable and old habits, easier to forget a single and brief lifetime as a human than a thousand others as the Harbinger of Destruction.  Maybe I couldn’t.  I knew now what it felt like, to stand in the face of hopelessness and fearing the loss of something more important than life or duty.

I waste precious time worrying of this, I know.  I might have years between now and then, when the world threatens to fall apart beneath my feet and my powers are needed once again.  I could _live_ in that time, spreading wings that I never had and experiencing all the treasures of this beautiful world that I had come to love, but I find myself fretting and _knowing_ that this will end.  Just as all things have a beginning, the end must eventually follow; laws of the universe, the balance dictated since the conception of all things.

Would I be ready?

I would have to be.

But I don’t think I will be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read!


End file.
